My Autism

Judging by the title of this blog, I’m sure you have an idea on what I’m about to talk about here. Yes, I have autism. I, however, am high-functioning, which just means I function at a higher level than some of the other autistic people out there. Before I dive right in, I’d like to briefly share that some people confuse high-functioning autism with “Asperger’s Syndrome”, which is a form of the disability. Because the characteristics are different from the two, I am NOT diagnosed with Asperger’s. About my life, interacting and building relationships with others was (and still is) a challenge for me, which is what we autistic people struggle with the most. I also have difficulty reading body language, facial expressions, and voice tones, and as a result, have difficulty reading humor and sarcasm. I take things to face value because of this. It is also difficult for me to know and understand what others are thinking or feeling, and I do not know how they’re going to react to something I say or do because of this. There are some people where I have a good feeling they will react kindly to me, but I still give the benefit of the doubt as some minds and/or outlooks change as that person ages. Throughout my childhood, there was no knowledge, awareness, or programs that assisted those with autism or any other disability, and because of this, society was insensitive and discouraging towards me and toyed with my emotions. People have also broken promises they’ve made to me, only saying what I wanted to hear, and whenever I said or did something they didn’t like, they would punish me immediately when they really should have taken the time to investigate what led up to the event. This angers me big time, and in some cases, hurts my feelings, which has also gotten me into trouble every now and then. I have feelings, too. I struggle with confidence and positivity because of this, leading me to feel like I have to be like everyone else. I feel like I have to like what everyone else likes, eat what everyone else eats, and so on. There were also times where I was forced to agree with someone, favor something (food, movie, etc.), and have an opinion on things. There’s even times where I’m not sure what to think or feel about someone or something. I try really hard to be genuine and honest with my responses, but unfortunately, some people force me to say what they want to hear. I don’t like doing that. I want people to listen to me. I too have a say in things, as stated by the First Amendment: The Right to Free Speech. Not everybody knows about or understands my autism, which is ok, but it doesn’t give them any right to scold me for any reason whatsoever. I’m not perfect. Nobody is, and we never will be. As long as we live, we’re just going to keep making mistakes. It’s the only way we’re going to learn. Yes, bad things happen, but what difference does it make for somebody with autism or any other disability making mistakes than someone without a disability? Just because I have autism doesn’t mean I’m bad, ignorant, or lazy. I just need assistance in certain areas, which is everybody if you think about, despite whether or not they have a disability. All I ask is to be an equal and valued member of society. Another way of putting it, I want to be seen and treated like a human being and not like some sort of animal, criminal, or nuisance. I’m not asking for sympathy here. I just want people to put themselves in my shoes, as well as the shoes of others. Not all my actions and words manifest what I think or feel. If you don’t know or understand something…ask! Don’t just assume things. Don’t judge me until you’ve gotten to know me, and I’m not just saying this for myself. There’s more to the story than meets the eye. Having autism isn’t bad at all. It’s a very good thing if you have the right mindset. I do have a video talking about my experiences, which can be checked out at the following address:

https://youtu.be/mvEtDX93v7I?si=U4JJCSOUHa4QQQcp

There’s also an article about me, which was published one month after this blog was posted. It’s still available at this address:

https://www.dailyadvocate.com/2020/05/27/arcanum-man-lives-life-to-fullest

Here are two radio stations that I've spoken on about my experiences:

https://youtu.be/yeaWhEH0Aeo?feature=shared

https://youtu.be/0K4hjw56Hpw?feature=shared

https://youtu.be/x23ZudBvznE?si=LenjpRc_DwKlPrJm

Here are the audio versions of the radio interviews:

https://www.thekaydengordonshow.com/interviews?wix-music-track-id=7213990068803337&wix-music-comp-id=comp-l7tp51ki

https://www.thekaydengordonshow.com/listen (File name is “Hour 2 - The Kayden Gordon Show - Today's Best Country Mix - 2-3-2024” with interview coming in at timestamp 0:43)

https://kboo.fm/media/124397-lets-talk-holiday-stories-featuring-call-ins-120624 (I come in at timestamp -28:33 or 33:28)

The organization "Autism Speaks" featured me on their Instagram page:

https://www.instagram.com/p/DF1Fk7npaq7/?igsh=X2lhTlpjdEVT 

#NationalAutismAwarenessMonth #WorldAutismAwarenessDay